Do you recall a time when your significant other wasn’t able to keep their hands off of you? Do you miss all of the playfulness that brought you two so much joy and fulfillment? Most relationships start off on Cloud 9 and then as the years progress, begin to wither away until finally, the romance completely exits the relationship.
Fast-forward to the present and the two of you barely touch and play around with each other.
The routine nowadays looks like the following scenario:
You two wake up in the morning, get ready for work, get the kids ready for school, eat breakfast, drop the children off at school, go to your 9 to 5 job, pick the kids up from school, drop them off at their extracurricular activities, pick them up from their extracurricular activities, help them with their homework, eat dinner, watch several hours of TV because you two are exhausted, put the children to bed, go to bed, and then wake up only to do it all over again.
Amongst all that activity, where’s the romance?
I’ll tell you what happened to it…
The lifestyles that we live today are extremely busy and stressful, which doesn’t leave much time for romance.
Most relationships go through predictable phases, from intense passion to a warm friendly glow to eventual unresponsiveness.
On the bright side, there are couples who are able to sustain the romance and passion in their relationships for as long as they are alive.
Those types of relationships are not examples of chance or luck, the continued intimacy is a result of working on the relationship and not giving up on each other when things look bleak.
If you are looking for more than just “holding on” to each other out of habit and wish to rekindle the flame of the early days of your romancing, here are the 6 Reasons That Causes The Death Of Romance and ways to address them…
Reason 1: Chores and Additional Responsibility
The greatest difference between your dating days and your living together days is the drastic change in responsibility.
And to make matters worse, throw in money matters, household chores, and decision-making, which can be major areas of conflict.
For example, let’s say you two have never discussed who does what around the house, and when you see your partner sprawled out on the couch while you are hard at work, it angers you to no end. The best way to sidestep this hurdle is to work on communication. In this example, it would help to discuss the division of chores and responsibilities before you start living together.
Also, discuss money matters beforehand, such as; who will spend on what, how much will be saved, etc. If one partner puts in efforts to save money, and their better half spends lavishly, the relationship will head towards troubled waters.
It’s no secret that money problems are at the root of most divorces.
Why let your relationship deteriorate over money, which can eventually be replaced?
The lack of communication causes resentment build up.
Reason 2: Resentment the Silent Killer
Unresolved issues lead to bitterness and resentment. And when we resent our partner, we tend to start shutting him/her out of our lives.
If you continue to do nothing about resentment, it can eventually become the beginning of the end of your relationship.
Take swift action and nip it in the bud by recognizing its signs and talking about the unresolved issues.
The goal is to seek closure on this silent relationship killer called “resentment.”
Reason 3: The Importance Of Health and Fitness
High profile and highly demanding careers mean that we have very little emotional energy to “give” at the end of the day. When both partners feel this way, they may end up snapping at each other over silly things.
If you have been neglecting your health by eating junk food and not exercising, you may frequently feel exhausted and irritable. So when you and your significant other both maintain a healthy and fit lifestyle, it helps to elevate your relationship, big time!
Reason 4: New Additions to the Family
Some experts say that the greatest test of the strength of a relationship is how it survives when a baby enters into the family unit.
Newborns can add to the stress of an already strained relationship. If you don’t want your relationship to fall apart on account of the baby, make sure you are working to resolve issues before the baby is born. Again, the key is open and honest communication.
Reason 5: Getting Too Comfortable
At some point in the relationship, we get comfortable enough to burp in front of each other.
This level of content sometimes extends to not opening doors for our partner, and not carrying bags for her, over time little courtesies are often forgotten.
No matter how comfortable a couple is around each other, a man should always behave like a gentleman and a woman should conduct herself in a ladylike manner.
This keeps the romance alive and helps you to maintain a high level of respect for one another.
Reason 6: Bickering and Nagging
Most bickering is usually a reflection of a much bigger problem going on in the relationship.
For example; it is never really about the socks on the floor or the toothpaste tube top left off, or the toilet seat left up, it is about how these gestures show that you don’t care enough about your partner to put in the effort.
At least that’s the way they see it.
Bickering only increases your frustration levels, because while the issue does not get resolved, you get labeled a “nag”. Talking in a constructive and positive way about what bothers you is the best way to sidestep bickering.
Always remember to talk in a place that is free of distractions such as the TV, other people, or the kids.
And while we’re going on about honest communication, remember the golden rule of speaking to your partner, it never hurts to be diplomatic.
In other words, “be honest”, but that does not mean “be harsh”. Talk in a considerate, gentle, and positive manner; and your partner will reciprocate.
The relationship with your significant other is everything, provided that it’s a loving one where the feelings are mutual.
If that’s the case, there’s no reason good enough to let the romance between the two of you die on the vine.
Yes, you are busy with all of the everyday activities, but you only live once.
If you’ve found true love no matter if you’re dating or married, taking proactive steps in rekindling the romance back into your relationship is 100% worth it.
My goals for the 6 Reasons That Causes The Death Of Romance was to shed some light on the most common things that drain the romance from your relationship and to provide a few tips on how to address them.
Good luck on reigniting the romance spark back into your life!